It's not that I don't HAVE pants. I have a lot of pants. I mean, a lot. I have jeans, stretch pants, leggings, black pants and once upon a time I had khakis. I have an entire drawer dedicated solely to what is worn below the waist--and no, not undies, I have a separate drawer for those--but STILL, I refuse to wear them around the house. Not the undies, the pants. I can't do it. I prefer to walk around with just my oversized shirt on, and marvel at the fact that I'm entirely alone in this house about 20 hours a day, and that warrants the complete baring of my legs and the corners of my ass.
But it's getting a little weird. I sit on the couch all day, working on my computer which really means I'm working on my life. I sit and search for employment, for apartments and for puppies. (It's true. I'm more than fixated on getting a dog. I'm completely obsessed.) I sit on this couch, look for the saving graces of life, and do it all without pants on. But then 7 pm rolls around. I barely notice the time because let's be honest, what is time to the unemployed? My brother comes home from work and doesn't really notice that I'm not wearing pants (because I'm sitting in a lay-z-boy) and just goes about his business as though everything is normal. Then I get up to do something and I have to put out that little disclaimer: "Sorry, I'm not wearing any pants." Which to me, is not creepy. I don't think it's a cause for concern. I'm wearing everything else, so to me, it's just like a bathing suit.
Well yesterday, this exact scene transpired and after I stated my situation, he looked at me and said, "Oh, so it's one of those days." And I wanted to share with him that I'm trying to make every single day one of those days. I'm bored! If It makes me happy to prance around the house with tights, tall socks and a sweatshirt on, then by god I'm going to do it. I look like a dancer, and although I do have the inclination to try and learn the dance to "Single Ladies," the odds of me actually doing so are slim.
It's making me really happy though. Truly. I stand out on our second story balcony and sip my coffee, not wearing a shred of pants. But no one knows that... so the joke's on them. HAHA you think I'm fully clothed, but I'm not! You see, in this day'n age, it's important to keep society guessing. It goes along with: HAHA, my hair's pulled back so it's plausible that I showered and just haven't done my hair yet, but really I haven't and I probably won't! HAHA the soup stain on my sweater looks like it could be from today, but really it's from last week! Keep them the fuck guessing.
AND this is the sum of me. Dirty clothes, dancer garb, couch sitting and channel surfing. But here's the key to getting by: You have to find someone who's worse off than you are. People who have it in them to have close friendships, tend to reveal the particulars of their lives to one another. It's good to share. It's intimate and bond-forming to share, but it's also helpful in times of need. Due to the unearthing of personal choices and life challenges, it's generally easy to find someone who's worse off than you. Right now, at this very moment, you're assessing your own life, trying to decide if it's at least better than mine. And here's the thing: chances are that on paper it's better, but now take in account that I'm feverishly happy. Not wearing pants, not having romantic entanglings, not having a place to live thus NOT having a rent to pay... this shit is good. And here I go wanting to tie myself down with a puppy. But you see, if a puppy can fit in a bag (keeping in mind it's comfort of course!) then it can go on this wild ride with me, not without me.
Now to close, I would love to point out two really funny moments I had this week: The first was when Shannon told me that if I was really sick of the picture I took off my wall, I would have thrown it away, not just put it away in a drawer. SO TRUE! The second was when Laura suggested that I name my dog "Fresh, 'Film Dog' for short." Good fucking heavens I laughed over that one. Inside jokes, all of it, but still worth sharing for the purpose of immortalizing.
