I thought that was the coolest thing that would ever happen to me, seeing LC face-to-face, but then the show started, and all of a sudden, the gift bags we've been making for the last week and a half started to get picked up by the people who's names we wrote on index cards and researched on PerezHilton. For instance, Gavin Degraw. I know I put a bag on his chair and I heard someone mention that he was coming to the show, but then he stepped in front of me to get to his seat, and I was like I'm in loooooove with a girl (I'm in love with...).
Just as the show was about to begin, we handed out necklaces to the people seated in the front row, and I handed one to Holly Madison. HOLLY MADISON--as in the woman who owns the vagina that once owned Hugh Hefner ("The Girls Next Door")! I watched her on E! on Sunday night, and tonight, I handed her a necklace and she actually looked at me. Someone in her row then turned to me and said, "Oh can you get one of those for my friend here?" and I just blindly said yes, and hurried to find an extra, only to return and find that the woman who asked for it was Guliana Rancic! Another E! Channel favorite! She fucking cavorts with George Clooney, not to mention has a standing career as E!'s anchor woman. I handed her the necklace and she says, "Thank you, sweetie, I love you!" MY JAW DROPPED. This is a woman who hosts on the red carpet for the Oscars (aka my dream come true). It's silly and kind of ridiculous, but holy fucking shit, it was cool.
This is totally up my alley. Despite the fact that I have no friends, no stable living situation and my car is filthy, I still had an amazing time tonight. I mean, 2 weeks ago I got to Hollywood, 2 months ago I got to California and for 21 years before that, I dreamt about this sort of thing.
"I'm from fucking Michigan!" I told the girls I was working with, who were a little stunned that I was so stunned. "This does not happen in Michigan." And then they smiled at my naivete and promised that the shine of celebrities would wear off sooner than later.
But no. I maintain that the moment I can't muster the proper amount of awe, is the moment the midwest has left my body. And I'm not too anxious to let go of that. I'm too much of a fish-out-of-water to abandon that identity. It's funny how as you get older and different situations arise, you begin to cling to wider and wider groups of identification. In high school, I clung to the people who were from the same section of Grosse Pointe; in college, I clung to anyone from Grosse Pointe, no matter what section (hell, most of my friends now are Park girls); after college, to hear someone say they're from Michigan, or the midwest in general, is musical in its familiarity. I'm even beginning to consider people from Ohio as acceptable candidates for friendship--and I hate Ohio.
I say this now as my feet are injured from the introduction of high heels, and there's a spider on the ceiling that is threatening me with its presence. It keeps making itself smaller and smaller as if to trick me into believing it's not there, but I know better! As I just told Kate, I'll play spider tricks with this spider. She seems to believe that by leaving the lights on, it will think that it's daytime and it will stay put. We'll see about that. Bottom line: there's just no good way this will end, for me or the spider. One of us will likely end up dead and the other traumatized. There's no telling who will take which side, though.
Highlights:
1) Lauren Conrad
2) Conrad Family (Mom, Dad, Brianna and lil bro)
3) Holly Madison
4) Guliana Rancic
5) Gavin Degraw
6) Lauren's "My Boys" boyfriend
7) The Simmons Sisters (as in Run DMC's daughters)
8) CUJO! (TV personality)
9) Topanga (From "Boy Meets World")
10) Jason Whaler + His Fiance
11) Lo Bosworth
12) Gary (the gay guy who went to Laguna with them)
13) Frankie! (from "The Hills")
Update:
Spider wins. I've had a heart attack in the pursuit of its death, and I now have no idea if it survived or if it is dead. I have changed rooms in this vacant apartment and alarmed the neighbors with my blood-curdling scream. Kate, you promised it wouldn't get me, and for the love of god, it did.
P the Fuck S,
The title is the combination of the three songs I rocked out to on the car ride home today: "Tiny Dancer" (obvi), "Times Like These" (Foo Fighters), and "LOST!" (Coldplay). Loving, loving, loving the version of LOST with the percussion (sorry, pook). I hear at work all of the time and I blasted the hell out of it on the 405 tonight.
