I went to see this film midday, in a theater that smelled like my first grade teacher's perfume mixed with baby wipes (but I swear that didn't influence my opinion in the least). The theater wasn't packed by any means, but a sign of the economic times is that more and more people seem to have free time at 3:40 on a Tuesday afternoon.
The film opens with John Malkovich's character, Osbourne Cox, being called into the office of his boss at the CIA, only to be fired in front of a few coworkers. He's targeted for being an alcoholic, and then rushes into a rage that can only be understood as reasonable. Who wants to be judged for alcohol abuse? At work no less! It is here that we see the first use of a popular phrase from the film, "What the fuck?!". (I happened to utter this myself throughout the rest of the film because one random thing befalls these characters after another). Cox, upon returning home and having to relay this severance to his wife, consoles her with the news that he plans to write a personal memoir. (Side Note: this charming character action reminds me of my own personal predicament with unemployment). But the memoir of a former agent of the CIA becomes of special interest to Pitt and McDormand's characters, as they happen to come across a digital copy of the memoir on the floor of the lady's locker room at the gym in which they are both personal trainers. The dialogue that transpires between these two, in terms of how to blackmail Osbourne Cox, are the only humorous moments in the film, I'm sad to say.
One thing inevitably linking to the other means that this memoir brings about connections between the characters in the most unusual ways. As it turns out, everyone's sleeping with each other, no one's marriage is successful, and online dating is really just a scam for married men to get laid without attachments.
I thought I was going to this movie to laugh my ass off, but instead, I just muttered the signature line of the main characters: What the Fuck?! Confusion was a large part of what made me dislike this film. I couldn't really accept the fact that scheming over how to blackmail a former CIA agent via his personal memoir could bring about such bad luck for these characters. Although, while reflecting on that premise, it is pretty humorous how random it is to have the memoir of a fired CIA agent.
Highlights:
1) Brad Pitt playing a character who is a complete idiot. It really strikes a contrast with all of that perfect-human charity work we're always hearing about from him and his "better half".
2) Frances McDormand is charming as a plastic-surgery-obsessed personal trainer. Ben Lyons put that thought in my head when he first reported it, and I completely agree.
3) George Clooney building a sex machine. Pretty much anything having to do with George Clooney and sexual activity is a plus in my book.
4) The car scene with Malkovich and Pitt--when you see it, you'll know what I mean.
5) The use of the phrase "What the fuck?!"--I don't mind if that makes me sound childish. It was so appropriately executed in the film.
Lowlights:
1) Tilda Swinton--I hate her. Ever since she so gratuitously got to sleep with Leonardo DiCaprio in "The Beach," I can't stomach her. She's irritating and ruins every scene she's in. NO ONE buys her and Clooney as an adulterous couple, because she'd never be that lucky to score someone so infallibly stunning. Sorry, it's the truth.
2) John Malkovich--Not my favorite. I suppose in order to have such visual over achievers in a film, like Brad Pitt and George Clooney, you have to offset them with people like John Malkovich. I appreciate him as a drunk memoir-writer, but similar to Swinton, his presence irritates me.
3) I didn't think it was that funny. Maybe something has escaped me. Maybe it's something I could pick up on if I watched it a second time, but as of this viewing, I was not impressed.
