Hallo-fuckin-ween

In grades 3 through 5, I was an Indian. I had a feather, I had a tomahawk, I had a brown dress with ornate silver piping that my grandma made, and I loved it. That's officially the last time I remember enjoying dressing up for Halloween. Strike that, I liked being Raggedy Anne one year too, but then I got to school and realized someone else was also that famous redhead, and I was instantly miserable.

So I make no secret of it, I hate Halloween. Why oh why do I have to dress up? My best friend reminded me this week that her favorite costume of mine was not the year I just wore mis-matched clothing, not the year I just put cat ears on my head, not the year I essentially wore my regular clothes, but the year I was a dead bride. Yes, in four years of college, I could only muster up the energy to buy ONE real costume and that's because it was on sale and included a blonde wig. I was toying with the idea of going blonde for my real life, so I thought I'd try it on for Halloween. Actually, I should give this stupid holiday some credit because it pretty much saved my life. I looked like a fool as a blonde.

Tonight, who knows. I snagged some free costume shit from my internship because one of the designers we work with came out with a costume line this season. These are the costumes I helped send as gifts to Leighton Meester, Britney Spears, Blake Lively and some other celebs. But the truth is, I'm not even sure they're going to wear them. And if they're not going to, why should I? WHY DO I HAVE TO DRESS UP??

Well, it's because I've been informed that Halloween in San Diego is a Big Fucking Deal. I sort of experienced that last night when I went to the bar and it was chalk full of naughty school girls, bananas and a girl in a tin foiled box who was a "robot" and cracked me the fuck up. I mean, I don't know if it was the booze talking, but I turned this little dial on the box, and she asked me to hold her drink as she moved her arms all around and twirled in the box and it was hilarious. But I'll never be that funny or that clever this "holiday" season, so why even try?

I drove from LA to San Diego last night seriously racking my brain over what to be. I thought: maybe I'll take the fireman/girl hat, make a pair of pants and wear some sort of... NO. Maybe I'll buy a white button-down shirt, get some dark sunglasses and hike up some socks to be Tom Cruise in Risky... NO. Maybe I'll wear the bee wings, put the antennas on my head and find some kind of yellow... NO!! I can't decide. I can't work it out. Maybe I'll just stay home, read my book and do some fucking laundry. 

The point, they say, is to dress like a slut. To me, that's just a regular night out. 

There's no longer any candy involved, I'm not aware of any drink specials, and furthermore, I don't think that I belong in a city that celebrates the Day of the Dead with more fervor than which they celebrate St. Patrick's Day. Now THAT'S a holiday I like to take a whole week off to embrace.

Maybe that's it. Maybe I'll be a leprechaun. It's over done, I don't have anything green, but perhaps it will be just the right note of defiance and compliance mixed together. 

Whatever I end up being, I'd kind of like to run into that french maid I saw last night, again tonight. His long blonde hair did make him look like a girl, but his low-cut apron revealed a whole mess of muscles that were begging to be touched--caressed even--by someone like me. Me, the bee/fireman/girl/Tom Cruise/leprechaun. 

"Do I Make You Horny?"

-NO, YOU DON'T.

It's a dislike I've garnered over time. You know, the first time I heard it, like a lot of other people, was in "Austin Powers" and it was funny then. But then as my teenage years melted away, I started to hear it more and more only it stopped being confined to just a movie quote. It was coming out of the mouths of guys who were, for all intents and purposes, trying to get a personal message across to me. "I'm horny." Really? Really you are? Geez, that's a news flash. I'm so glad you told me this flat out because I was almost confused about why you were laying on top of me and nibbling on my neck. I was baffled by our interactions until you dropped that bomb! This is information I could not have ascertained with my college degree. I really am just an idiot who needs that kind of oral dictation. The boner on my leg was not enough.

I beg the question: why does this need to be communicated? Why do they think we're really in the dark? I think--and this is just a guess really--that most men probably walk around for more than half of their lives with that pressing emotion. That horniness they're so eager to mention and talk about. I bet it plagues them like a baboon with fleas. What I don't understand is why they feel it's necessary to let that word drop out of their mouths. That has to be the number one reason I've left many, many situations unsatisfied. I don't want to hear that. That makes me think of Austin Powers. Bad teeth, aggressive sexual drive and the Swedish Penis Enlarger. Are those really associations you want me to be making? They're in the right general vicinity, but they're  definitely not on target.

I have to ask, gentleman, in the throws of physicality, what can verbalizing this emotion do that simple body language cannot? It's perplexing. In addition, it's something that a moist towel and 15 minutes of alone time can cure. I don't need to be around for that, so I might as well send you on your way. 

So, that essentially sums up my weekend. One single distaste for a word. Don't like to hear it, don't think it's sexy, don't think it does anything more than state the obvious... in a somewhat vulgar way. It's a word that can make find its final peace in the 60s.

On to more important details...

This Sunday, Tevo + Meg conquered the most random of acts. We began this morning hung over at a breakfast place in La Jolla with a middle eastern host who kept referring to Tony as "Baby." "Here you go, baby," he said, handing Tony his menu. He's a gregarious host. We've met him before at this restaurant, but I just had to pause and crack up as he casually called Devon and I each, "lady," and Tony just plain "baby".

Then, after some well spent couch time, we went to Costco. Yesterday, also at Costco, Tony purchased his first membership card. I had no idea what kind of event this was for him in life. Apparently, as I later observed, the addition of Costco into Tony's life is altering. We meandered the aisles, familiarizing ourselves with this particular Costco's layout, as Tony convinced himself he needed everything in the store. All of a sudden, he's flipping TVs around--45" flat screens--to see what kind of HD hook up they are capable of. I figure he's probably the only nerd who does this kind of thing in Costco. He wanted a paper shredder, and a huge bottle of body wash, something for dinner and maybe 35 rolls of toilet paper, too. It was insanity. He was collecting items--like two computer monitors--as if he were on a notice from heaven that he had only 12 hours left to live. Finally, like the good babysitter I am, I pulled him away from the video games so that we could make it home to watch the kick off of the Michigan game. As it turns out, I should have just let him spend those 4 football hours in Costco. Maybe then our days wouldn't have been ruined by tragedy and defeat.

I wasn't terribly surprised when he wanted to go back today. We had Devon with us today, and in true kid form, they both rode the shopping cart down a hill in the parking lot. It wasn't embarrassing though. The actual kids in the parking lot looked super jealous of the activity, which of course, made us feel like the cool kids on the playground. It's the kind of thing that I'm convinced, can only happen at Costco.

We finished the day watching "W." So here goes...

W. **/5

Josh Brolin is amazing. His transformation into the world's biggest political ape is absolutely uncanny. It's on par with Tina Fey as Sarah Palin. Basically, all of the actors portraying cabinet members were astounding in their roles. I have to say, it's got to be difficult to not only portray someone who is still alive and in the public eye, but someone who is still in office! I mean, Josh Brolin isn't just some half-assed President Bush. He takes on the role flawlessly and for that, I say nominate the hell out of him come this awards season.

The movie itself, however, is odd. As previously mentioned, I'm not into war/political/governmental movies. Why, then, do I keep watching them?? Well, because they happen to be the bulk of what's out right now and come on, I was desperately curious as to what was going transpire in this film. I found myself consistently checking the time, however. I wasn't too entertained. I went into it with the idea that it was going to be funny, and other than the occasional chuckle, it really wasn't. I'm also not a fan of the handheld camera work, and there's a lot of that going on in the film. It's motion sick hell, for me at least.

There's a freudian dilemma that's posed in the film that frames the relationship between George W senior and George W junior in a very awkward way. You can't help but wonder if that kind of father-son tension is real, or fabricated for the sake of the sympathy of the main character. And you can't help but have a shred of sympathy for the guy. And no one hates Bush more than I, but the movie makes him look like a lost baseball player just kind of in the highest elected office in the country by chance! By circumstance! By a wayward ambition that probably could have been channeled more productively if he wasn't born into such privilege and legacy.

Who knows. I didn't really like it though. I would say, definitely wait to see it when it comes out on video. I'll obviously be very interested to see what happens with Brolin at the awards, because he could very well go for gold again this year. He was great on SNL too. Loves him really. He's doing amazing things these days.

Highlights:

1) Josh Brolin

2) The trailer for "Milk," the new Emile Hirsch/Sean Penn movie!!  I cannot wait to see that.

Lowlights:

1) Lack of plot

2) Odd stance (if you could call it that) taken on the current life of the President

3) Not enough references to George Bush's simian similarities

Blue Jean Baby, LA Lady, It's Times Like These You Learn to Live Again and I'm Just Waiting 'Til The Shine Wears Off

I was pretty hesitant to use the port-a-potties at the LC fashion show. I waited and waited until I couldn't wait anymore, and then I walked backstage, through the models and the make up, and squatted while holding my nose. I hate port-a-potties...duh. Just as I was "washing" my hands, I heard a voice next door to me say, "Ew... we have to use these?" and then as I walked out, I saw her. It was LC. I caught her on "The Hills" last night, and tonight, I caught her in the stall next to me. This is a girl I've been watching on TV since I was a senior in high school. I've watched her date, move cities, change friends, and finally, I saw her in person, putting on her fashion show as I moved past her silently, all the while thinking to myself: this girl is too fucking pretty to be real.

I thought that was the coolest thing that would ever happen to me, seeing LC face-to-face, but then the show started, and all of a sudden, the gift bags we've been making for the last week and a half started to get picked up by the people who's names we wrote on index cards and researched on PerezHilton. For instance, Gavin Degraw. I know I put a bag on his chair and I heard someone mention that he was coming to the show, but then he stepped in front of me to get to his seat, and I was like I'm in loooooove with a girl (I'm in love with...). 

Just as the show was about to begin, we handed out necklaces to the people seated in the front row, and I handed one to Holly Madison. HOLLY MADISON--as in the woman who owns the vagina that once owned Hugh Hefner ("The Girls Next Door")! I watched her on E! on Sunday night, and tonight, I handed her a necklace and she actually looked at me. Someone in her row then turned to me and said, "Oh can you get one of those for my friend here?" and I just blindly said yes, and hurried to find an extra, only to return and find that the woman who asked for it was Guliana Rancic! Another E! Channel favorite! She fucking cavorts with George Clooney, not to mention has a standing career as E!'s anchor woman. I handed her the necklace and she says, "Thank you, sweetie, I love you!" MY JAW DROPPED. This is a woman who hosts on the red carpet for the Oscars (aka my dream come true). It's silly and kind of ridiculous, but holy fucking shit, it was cool.

This is totally up my alley. Despite the fact that I have no friends, no stable living situation and my car is filthy, I still had an amazing time tonight. I mean, 2 weeks ago I got to Hollywood, 2 months ago I got to California and for 21 years before that, I dreamt about this sort of thing. 

"I'm from fucking Michigan!" I told the girls I was working with, who were a little stunned that I was so stunned. "This does not happen in Michigan." And then they smiled at my naivete and promised that the shine of celebrities would wear off sooner than later. 

But no. I maintain that the moment I can't muster the proper amount of awe, is the moment the midwest has left my body. And I'm not too anxious to let go of that. I'm too much of a fish-out-of-water to abandon that identity. It's funny how as you get older and different situations arise, you begin to cling to wider and wider groups of identification. In high school, I clung to the people who were from the same section of Grosse Pointe; in college, I clung to anyone from Grosse Pointe, no matter what section (hell, most of my friends now are Park girls); after college, to hear someone say they're from Michigan, or the midwest in general, is musical in its familiarity. I'm even beginning to consider people from Ohio as acceptable candidates for friendship--and I hate Ohio.

I say this now as my feet are injured from the introduction of high heels, and there's a spider on the ceiling that is threatening me with its presence. It keeps making itself smaller and smaller as if to trick me into believing it's not there, but I know better! As I just told Kate, I'll play spider tricks with this spider. She seems to believe that by leaving the lights on, it will think that it's daytime and it will stay put. We'll see about that. Bottom line: there's just no good way this will end, for me or the spider. One of us will likely end up dead and the other traumatized. There's no telling who will take which side, though.

Highlights:

1) Lauren Conrad

2) Conrad Family (Mom, Dad, Brianna and lil bro)

3) Holly Madison

4) Guliana Rancic

5) Gavin Degraw

6) Lauren's "My Boys" boyfriend

7) The Simmons Sisters (as in Run DMC's daughters)

8) CUJO! (TV personality)

9) Topanga (From "Boy Meets World")

10) Jason Whaler + His Fiance

11) Lo Bosworth

12) Gary (the gay guy who went to Laguna with them)

13) Frankie! (from "The Hills")

Update:

Spider wins. I've had a heart attack in the pursuit of its death, and I now have no idea if it survived or if it is dead. I have changed rooms in this vacant apartment and alarmed the neighbors with my blood-curdling scream. Kate, you promised it wouldn't get me, and for the love of god, it did.

P the Fuck S, 

The title is the combination of the three songs I rocked out to on the car ride home today: "Tiny Dancer" (obvi), "Times Like These" (Foo Fighters), and "LOST!" (Coldplay). Loving, loving, loving the version of LOST with the percussion (sorry, pook). I hear at work all of the time and I blasted the hell out of it on the 405 tonight.

Body of Lies **/5

Basic plot: The CIA's in the Middle East and Leonardo DiCaprio is their ground agent who communicates his espionage to Russell Crowe back in Washington. That's really all there is to it.

As a general guideline, I prefer not to see movies about the Middle East. I don't really care to pay 10 dollars to watch on the big screen what I see on TV. Not to say that the war stuff isn't important, because obviously it is, but I usually don't like to see it play out during my cinematic escapes. This is probably why I didn't like "Iron Man" either.

Having said that, I will see anything that brandishes Leo, for the aforementioned reasons below. And as always, he did not disappoint. I love him with a Boston accent, a South African accent, and newly, a Southern accent. It's faint, but like everything else in life he pulls it off. I didn't like the film that much because most of that military jargon flies over my head, and I get tired of translated Arabic very quickly, but Leo was superb. Russell, who I tend to like in most other projects--especially Ridley Scott projects--was OK in this, but really didn't please me as much as he usually does.

It's a very typical CIA movie. It's present day, so in the midst of the Iraq War, and it's all very dusty. That's what living in the desert will do to you though... make you dusty. The plot is cohesive, there aren't any blank spots, but at the end of it you just hope and pray that some of the torture, some of the seemingly senseless deaths are a fabrication of Hollywood and not actual things that are transpiring in countries we'd never want to travel to. As Russell Crowe puts it in the film, "There's nothing here to like." That's definitely how I feel about that global region. It's an opinion derived ignorantly, I admit, because I've never been there, yet half my ancestry resides there, but still not my first, second or fifth choice for movie genre. 

So good job Leo. Yet again, you got me to see a movie I wasn't too sure about seeing in the first place, just because of your fabulousness. 

Been keeping up with Entourage? How insanely funny was last week's episode? Loves it. 

It's Fashion Week in LA and I'm working some of the shows so... crossing fingers for famous faces to be in my eye line.

Gone Baby Gone ****/5

"And if that girl's only hope is you, then I pray for her because she's gone, baby. Gone."

I happen to believe that the collision of Casey and Ben Affleck on screen is a force to be reckoned with. I first noticed this when I watched an episode of "The Second Voyage of the Mimi" in the 6th grade, and Ben made a call home to his parents and Casey answered, and his face just lit up. Oh The Voyage of the Mimi, such great days. But there are other examples too: "Chasing Amy," "200 Cigarettes," and of course..."Good Will Hunting." Remarkable films, each in their own right.

Basic plot outline: A little girl goes missing from her small Boston suburb and her aunt hires a private investigating team--Casey Affleck and his on-screen girlfriend, Michelle Monaghan--to augment the case and help find the child. This process, although straight forward, ends up being wrought with moral and personal dilemmas that show perfectly on the gorgeous face and through the emotional eyes of Casey Affleck. 

I love this movie. I think the script is brilliant, the acting is on its own level, and the plot outline has something for everyone. There's adequate amounts of sharp wit to pepper the story line that is otherwise very dramatic. I love that. I prefer to be engrossed in something to the point of not knowing whether or not its appropriate to laugh due to the subject matter. There are also moments when you want to cover your eyes, or you want to just cry or maybe even scream at the television. It's a beautifully unfolding drama.

I essentially show people this movie because when the credits are rolling, I like to have a debate about the ending choices of the main characters. Were they right? Did they do what was best? Are they morally culpable for their actions? Without giving anything away, I suggest you see the movie with someone and then ask these pivotal questions. 

It's really a remarkable movie. It didn't do anything at the Oscars, which is upsetting, but it's an homage to Boston, a trademark of the Affleck's in general. And I love Boston, of course, because I was born there... and their accents are amusing.

HIGHLIGHTS:

1) The ending

2) Casey Affleck

3) Ben Affleck in his directorial debut

4) The script--flawless.

5) The casting of local Bostonians to fill in the cinematic "neighborhood".

LOWLIGHTS:

1) Michelle Monaghan--I hate her. She's annoying. She has some sort of weird speech thing that drives me a little nuts. Also her character brings very little to the table besides a lot of emotions and very little resolution.

2) The release date was delayed because Madelyn McCann, the little blonde British girl, was abducted in Portugal near the time of the film's original release date.

See this movie. See it right now. Nextflix it. Move it to the top of your Queue. 

I say this now as I sit, watching "The Beach," a movie that has absolutely no merit other than the very obvious--Leonardo DiCaprio. At the height of my Leo obsession, back in middle school, I sat on my computer at home for hours watching trailers for this movie. Why hours? Because back in the old days of the internet, downloading a 3 minute Quicktime trailer was a huge process. Then when the flick came out, my dad was kind enough to take me and a friend to it on its opening night. A lot of hype for kind of a shit movie. I mean, great scenery. I love Thailand, and I'm sorry that most of where the movie was shot was wiped away in the Tsunami, but really, other than that and Leo, there's nothing to it. There is, however, just one shining moment, which is when Leo explains how the "haze of infatuation" can make you find even the most ridiculous habits of your lover, seem, well, lovely. That's just an excellent description.

"Desire is desire wherever you go. The sun will not bleach it, nor the tide wash it away."

Side Note: In the 8th grade, shortly after this movie was released, the Detroit Free Press had a contest to find the "Biggest Leonardo DiCaprio Fan," ie: me. The prize for the biggest fan was a replica of Leo's shirt that he wears in the movie. I wrote them about 18 emails, entering myself in the contest, explaining to them that no one on the face of the earth has ever felt as passionately about someone as I felt about Leo, and sure enough, 2 weeks later, I got the tshirt in the mail. I still have it. It's back at 239 Ridge, but I know exactly what shelf of my closet it is on. I'll never let go (get it??). I think it's ugly, it's oversized and since my hormones have stopped raging, I don't obsess over Leo anymore (as much), but it's a token of my youth that will have to go 6 feet under with me when the time comes. 

I still have yet to see his new movie, which is not good because I do like to be part of opening weekend box office numbers, but I've been hung over, drunk or crying over football all weekend, so it's a struggle. 

Closing Statements: If I drunk dialed you or drunk texted you Thursday or Friday night, thanks for chatting back. And if I made out with you this weekend--a small group of nameless men--thanks for the fun ;) If I danced with you, told you I was going to the bathroom, and then never returned, well you weren't for me. If I told you my name was "Carlie," well... you weren't for me.

haha, I just crack myself up.

My Favorite Man

It was John Lennon's 68th birthday yesterday. It was sadly overlooked by me. "You say it's your birthday? Well it's my birthday too, yeah!"--The Beatles. For John and Sean who share the same birthday.

Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist ***/5

This one begins way back in July when I saw Michael Cera in  Ann Arbor shooting his new movie. Oh yeah, I stalked that movie set and after about 20 minutes of waiting, I saw him run to the corner adjacent to where I was standing. This is irrelevant, I just wanted to let it be known.

So basic plot outline: Boy in a band (Michael Cera) gets his heart broken by a tiny blonde chick. He ends up going to play a concert with his gay band mates, and meets Nora (Kat Dennings) who uses him as a "Five Minute Boyfriend" in order to make one of her school enemies jealous. Turns out, that school enemy is the exact girl who dumped Cera scenes previous. It's all very intertwined. How does the playlist become "infinite"? Well, Nora's drunk ass friend--who is hilarious--gets lost at the concert and ends up wandering New York City all alone and wasted. Nora + Gay Boy Band + Nick have to find her, all the while trying to get to a secret show by a band called "Where's Fluffy?" There's some love, there's some humor, there's a lot of dark lipstick, there are a lot of classically drunk moments brought to us by Ari Graynor, who just steals the scenes she's in.

Here's my issue: yet again, there were inconsistent moments. For example, near the end of the movie, Nick and Nora are walking down the street talking to each other and then ALL OF A SUDDEN they're sitting down talking. THEN back to walking and talking. It's extremely odd. My cousin and I both looked at each other like, wtf? In addition to that inconsistency, I have to say that I tend to have the following issue with many teen dramas: If two characters are going to fall in love or at least realize that they've found their counterparts in one another, then I need to see some damn good chemistry to back that shit up. I tend to hate Kat Dennings with a passion, mostly because she annoys the shit out of me with her dark lipstick, but also because she never opens her mouth all of the way. She's a weird actress in that she's always playing the same role: intelligent, off-beat, emo chick who is also kinky sexual, but only on an unsuspecting level. Not to say that Michael Cera can hit all kinds of ranges, because we all know he can't. He's been the same character ever since "Arrested Development" and that has just parlayed him into this role as well. He's the nerd-next-door, with intelligent wit, skinny legs and the ability to charm your pants off (oh yes, pants are always coming off for him). He's given this character a profitable niche in Hollywood. Even when I saw him running to the corner in Ann Arbor on his new film set, I could just tell, he's that same character. And that's great for now, ya know, whatever pays the bills, but when he's 50, if I see him being that nerdy love interest STILL, I'll barf in the aisles. I have to say though, good for him for finding an acting career, because without it, he might never have gotten any. He'd be stuck behind a desk at an IT office like the rest of nerdy America. 

The drunk girl, Ari Graynor, is just phenomenal as a drunk. And we've all been there. Drunk off your ass, wandering around, looking for your friends, telling people too much information about yourself. She must have been hitting the sauce before her scenes because she just pulls it off brilliantly. And everybody loves the drunk girl. I'd say see the movie just for her.

See it, good music. Band of Horses, even. Although, I've taken them off of the "indie" list ever since they appeared on MTV's "I'm with Rolling Stone." MTV is considered selling out, right? I did love them on that show though--or rather, I loved the kid that interviewed them. Either way, they're featured in the flick.

Highlights:

1)  The music

2) Ari Graynor

3) Rafi Gavron and Aaron Yoo--Love them as the gay band mates

4) Nick's car. Walking to the parking lot after the movie, we totally saw the same car parked next to us. It was an amazing movie moment.

5) One very sincere, very moving, very awesome Beatles reference

Speaking of which. I have this theory that most movies you watch have a Beatles reference embedded somewhere within them. It's either a covered song, a mention of their name, a look alike, a time period reference, or just a flat out homage. I love it. I watch for these things and I take extra special note of them. Love my boys.

Lowlights:

1) Kat Dennings (puke)

2) Inconsistencies (millions and millions of dollars go into making movies, I think they can make sure they're edited properly for god's sake)

3) The two hottest boys being gay

4) The fact that we never hear "Where's Fluffy?"'s music because they're obviously fictional.

I have to get in the car and drive 2 hours back to San Diego now...

Where the Dark is Dark at 7pm

Where to begin?

I began Day 2 of my internship dressed like a flaming moron, again. "Did you wear your sweatpants?" Anne asked me. Of course, I did.  Not like MICHIGAN sweatpants with a gratuitous slogan on the leg. Just like, the pair of pants I've sewn 8 times due to tearing. Oh get over it... I did. I'm going shopping tomorrow morning, so hopefully things in the fashion department will improve for me.

I spent a ridiculous amount of time at the post office today mailing "over-sized" envelopes. I spent an hour stuffing them, 30 minutes putting postage on them, and all of my arm strength to carry them 2 blocks to the post office, only to find out that I was 33 cents short per envelope. Hence a trip BACK to the office, BACK to the post office, and then right over to Staples to make things nice and complete. I actually enjoyed all of this. It's way better than sitting on my brother's recliner watching movies, hunting for jobs on Craigslist and inevitably coming up empty handed at the end of the day. The only thing I didn't enjoy was the 90 degree heat. Yes people, you heard me, IT'S 90 HERE. I was sweating balls on Sunset Boulevard, which I'm pretty sure you are NOT supposed to do.

A slightly cool thing is that they shot an episode of Degrassi outside of my building this weekend and they're shooting something else tomorrow. I swear to god, if I can just see one semi-famous person remotely close, I think my life would be complete. Well... not totally complete seeing as I still have no friends. I thought I was working on getting friends in San Diego, and then I decided to switch things to LA. I have to say though, in the absence of friends, I have had the most fun with these blood relatives. My cousin cooks for me constantly, like a mother. My brother is always fun, but now he's far away and probably barely misses me. J/K, he's probably just bitching at the wind over something that needs to be cleaned. He's terribly adorable though--and better be reading this right now.

I STILL have not gotten a chance to go to the movies recently because I'm tired and driving insane amounts, so top of my list is "Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist" (I confess, mostly because I want to hear what music they chose) and right after that is LEO'S NEW MOVIE!!!! which opens this weekend. I'm going to drag my big guy to that one. Maybe Devon too. Maybe it'll be a Tevo+Meg movie night. We haven't doubled on that kind of social scene yet.

Is it Thanksgiving yet? Actually, lets put that one off. I don't want to be 22 anytime soon.

Jay Leno and LA

Tonight, the best hostess in the world/my cousin, Shannon, took me to downtown Hermosa Beach and we saw Jay Leno perform at the Comedy & Magic Club. Apparently he does stand up there every Sunday night because it's where he got his start. Tonight, however, he was proceeded by someone I consider to be a true icon of American Cinema--but in that "bit part" kind of way--Larry Miller. I bet you're wondering who that is. Well if you've seen "Pretty Woman," Larry Miller is the man who is the store manager at the place where Julia Roberts spends all of Richard Gere's money with that fabulous shopping montage all set to Roy Orbisons, "Pretty Woman." OH he's also the dad in "10 Things I Hate About You". YES FOLKS, that means he has met and shared screen time with the late Heath Ledger (xo). Amazing. Absolutely amazing. He was practicing his own stand-up routine tonight at the club, and I have to say, it wasn't all that funny, but it was great to see him out. 

JAY LENO, however, was awesome. His hair was all over the place, his tie was loosened, and he opened his act with obscene hand gestures! Not something usually featured on The Tonight Show. He was on stage for about an hour and then closed his set by trying out jokes for his monologue on The Tonight Show. This isn't unusual for him. He tries out jokes every Sunday and tape records the routine so that he can have Memorex'd proof of just how funny he is.

This was my first celebrity sighting out here in LA. LA life is already shaping up to be more exciting than my alter ego's life in San Diego. San Diego girl just hangs around her brother, wishing she had her own friends, a job and a consistent supply of Netflix DVDs. 

Being so close to Jay Leno, in a den of comedic infamy, is something that could never happen in Michigan, or in San Diego for that matter. In Michigan, just the fact that Jay Leno's car would be parked on a well-traveled street, in front of a tiny comedy club, would be a big fucking deal. Here, it's just a regular Sunday night. How fantastic is this?! This is functioning as reason number 34 as to why I should move up here. Reasons number 1-33 are, of course, a secret.

Epic Side Note:

It appears as though I've gotten myself into that funny position of constantly being a third wheel. I kid you not, this is my only purpose in life. Everywhere I go, I try not to be that weird hanger-on with couples, but I can't help myself. It involuntarily is happening to me all of the time. I've gotten used to being the third wheel with Tony and Devon or "Tevo" as we're now calling them. It was weird at first when we'd go get ice cream as a unit--a weird, 2-girls-1-guy unit, complete with a set of siblings--but now I'm used to it. Then I went home last weekend and happened again, to find myself on a brother's date with his girlfriend, only this time it was Charlie and Lauren. **Please keep in mind, Charlie is my YOUNGER brother**. I'll consider that third-wheel moment my true low point because not only was I a college grad on a college campus I only left 2 months ago, but I was the awkward older person third wheeling with practical infants. Not that I don't love them, because I do. BUT THEN, I ventured all of the way to LA (as many times aforementioned) to find myself in yet another couples situation. Although this time, I was the fifth wheel. Dating with two couples. All alone. Stranded in LA in couplesville. Here's a funny notion I've come to accept: Everyone's in love. It's clearly been slapping me in the face for the last 2 months, and OK world, I get the picture. It's probably time to start one of those weird tricky things called A LIFE, and probably, there should be a relationship in it... somewhere. Not in the near future, of course, because I just graduated (I wonder how long I'll be able to say I just did this) and in college, we get drunk and make out with strangers. We don't date! 

So move over cat lady. I'm signing up for a kitten.

Duets */5

Gwyneth Paltrow, Huey Lewis, Scott Speedman, Maria Bello, Paul Giamatti

I've been trying to get my hands on this movie because I am an avid supporter of Scott Speedman, oops I mean "Ben Covington." Such love for this man. Anyway, as luck would have it, it was on HBO this morning--which is really quite convenient since I can't seem to manage to walk the two blocks to the mailbox and drop off my Netflix. I'M GETTING THERE PEOPLE, easy!

Not really a great movie though. It was very reminiscent of "The Jane Austen Book Club" in that there were missing pieces everywhere. It was basically one long concert given by actors who decided that acting was merely secondary. It should be billed as a musical because really, that's the only interesting part about it. Gwyneth has a great voice, Huey Lewis can only sing in life (duh), and Maria Bello needs to put the microphone down. I have to say though, for the ten seconds I got of Scott Speedman, I was quite pleased. This man can act. He is amazing and fabulous. He is great looking, and easily warms all of the scenes he's in. It's a good thing too because most of them are with Maria Bello. Speaking of which, she was ALSO in "The Jane Austen Book Club," so maybe incoherent plot lines just follow her. But the point is, why don't people give Mr. Speedman more of a chance? Who is representing this man? Why can't they get him into non-indie, non-sucking, non-Felicity movies? If Ari Gold was doing the agent'ing, I'm sure things would go differently for him. BUT the good news is that I believe he lives in Hollywood, so my dearest hope is that he walks by me on Sunset Boulevard. We'll see...

Don't see this movie unless you have it huge for Speedman like I do.

Side Note:

One of my favorite friends, Ashley Spencer, has been cross referenced on the Sports Illustrated Online website. Why, do you ask? Because she's hilarious and wrote an article for "Boosh" online magazine about her quest to find Michael Phelps when she journeyed to Ann Arbor for the UMich-Wisco game. This is the link via Sports Illustrated:

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/sioncampus/10/03/the-whiniest-ncaa-coaches-campus-clicks/index.html

Scroll to "Finding Football, Phelps." Oh, and she mentions me in the article! But not nearly enough...

Let Me Show You My Emoticon!!

(Insert Smiley Face Here)

Dear Kate, does Addie make you clean? Like, does she walk into the house, pull out the vacuum, turn it on--even though you're clearly watching TV--and then point the hose at you suggestively, like, "Heyyyyyy... you should be cleaning too!"?? Does she do those things? I bet she doesn't. I bet she respects your right to television and laziness. Oh living with siblings can be so fun... j/k Presh, I love you to pieces.

STARTER FOR 10 ****/5

I quite enjoy this movie. I've seen it before--about 5 minutes of it in Kate's room, and about the rest of it in my room. Then I watched it again today, because, well, I've seen everything else on HBO. 

James McAvoy leads us through a British kid's interpretations of what it's like to move away from home and go to college, or "University." He leaves behind his under-achieving friends, his single mother and his small town to take up prestige at a university full of poets and protesters. He gets it in his head that he wants to be on the British equivalent of the Quiz Bowl team, and ends up taking his team far into the finals, all while courting his blonde teammate, who really looks very oddly matched for the team. It's a coming-of-age story line. McAvoy is just endearing; his sidekick friend, Rebecca Hall, is one of my new British faves (even though I personally believed she ruined the film "Vicky, Christina, Barcelona" by failing to impersonate an American accent and therefore stuttering through all of the movie); and that weirdo guy who is also in "Atonement" is somewhat charming as well. I love British movies. I can't help myself. I recommend this one. It's pretty cute, and the majority of its soundtrack is furnished by The Cure. Who wouldn't truly love to have a romantic encounter with someone in real life and hear "Pictures of You" in the background? Oh yeah, consider that mood set. Good flick, predictable ending, I won't be giving it away.

Ahhhh I start my internship on Monday and I'm not quite prepared. I do not have basically any clothes that will suit that LA look (umm pun VERY much intended). This, of course, makes me nervous. We'll see--maybe they won't care if I wear a towel, which is always my "I don't know what to wear" standby.

A Kick to the Head is Worth Two to the Heart

First things first:

1) A man at the gym today had a monkey. "What do you mean he had a monkey?" HE HAD A MONKEY. It was on his shoulder, it was wearing a diaper, and no, the man wasn't doing any kind of physical activity, he was just there with the monkey, showing it off, probably trying to pick up chicks.

2) Franco, the man who is always at the gym when we are was not there today. Truly, no matter what time we choose to go, and we choose a different time every day, he is there. Tony says he was there yesterday, but having him absent today definitely affected my workout. I miss that mullet, that cut-off shirt and those toned 50-year-old arms.

3) Jess (perhaps my only California girl friend) skipped out on work today to come meet me at the beach. It was awesome. The beach was dead--apparently people have jobs?--but we caught up with each other on our respective weekends, so it was a perfect environment for that.

NOW enough about me.

I've been watching a few episodes of "Iconoclast" lately. Thankfully, my favorites have been on TV. "What's 'Iconoclast'?" Well, it's only the best show ever. It's on the Sundance channel and it's when two "icons" (if you will) hang out with each other and basically talk about why they are friends. My fave epis are: Laird Hamilton + Eddie Vedder--most of it takes place in Hawaii, and the scenery is beyond impressive; Sean Penn + Jon Krakauer--all of it is in  Alaska, and again, the scenery is beautiful, plus they talk about "Into the Wild" and if you know me, you know I fucking love that book/movie; but my NEW fave is Robert Redford + Paul Newman. It was on today, obviously because Mr. Newman passed away this weekend (tears, Kate). But I happen to believe that the concept of two legends of a trade, no matter which trade it is (writing, surfing, film making, health healing, music, or even social activism), hanging out with each other and complimenting each other is possibly the best idea ever.

HIGHLIGHTS:::

1) Laird Hamilton + Eddie Vedder. There is a moment when Eddie is in Laird's house, looking out at the ocean and painting a picture based on a photo taken of Laird riding a wave. It's an incredible interpretation of the photo and Eddie is so cute talking about how impressed he is with Laird's ability to make a wave look grandiose simply by interacting with it. Oh, and it's a present for Laird which is fantastic. Imagine telling people, "Oh yeah, Eddie Vedder painted that OF me, FOR me."

2) Sean  Penn + Jon Krakauer. Sean and Jon go into a liquor store in some random town in Alaska and buy Absolut and Kaluah for the White Russians they're going to be making in Chris McCandless's honor. Well, the woman recognizes Sean, asks him what he's doing in Alaska and then asks him for his ID, which he happens not to have on him. He says, "Seriously?" and she assures him that YES he does have to show ID like everyone else, famous or not. Perfect. Loves it.

3) Robert Redford + Paul Newman. They drop Robert Redford off at Paul Newman's house, and both men have camera's on them, but for some reason, they wander the estate for about 5 minutes looking for each other, unable to meet up. Robert says, "Where the hell is he?" Paul shouts, "JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE! I'll come find you!" Hilarious. Two old men, smokin' legends, completely unable to locate each other on an enormous Connecticut estate.

YOU CAN'T WRITE THIS SHIT PEOPLE!

Also, Robert Redford is the founder and owner of Sundance (channel, festival, ranch in Utah) and he does so many positive things for other people, for filmmakers and for the environment that I can't even be more impressed by a human being (except for Bono, of course).

Sidely Noted:

I wrote PerezHilton an email describing my encounter with Michael Phelps this weekend. Pretty useless shit, but I felt he needed to know that M. Phelps isn't that pleasant to his fans/fellow UofM students and alumni. Oh well, he had a super hot friend in his Entourage who actually DID talk to us, so not all was lost by any means.

Closing Statements:

I got kicked by a small child this week. He was throwing a tantrum, I attempted to calm him, he attempted to kill me, but I did make sure to assure him that I have four brothers and there  is literally no physical harm that they have not already imposed on me in life. I can take it. That's the way to deal with the agedly-challenged, right? (oh I soooo made that phrase up).

Kate, please remember for the future that I am 1 hour BEHIND you. 8:40 am, while a fabulous time for normal people to wake up, is not generally lovely for me. But I did enjoy the chat. I love waking up to my friends on the phone. It's the perk of different time zones.